Monday, September 27, 2010

Upfront and Very Personal: My Life-Long Battle with the Bulge

Warning: This is probably going to be a very long post with lots of text in it. I know most of you just like browsing through the photos, so I would like to warn you in advance. :)

Since I began the "what I wore" posts, I have been receiving many positive responses... but I have also been receiving the few negative ones. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and everyone has their own tastesand likes. Therefore it's not really an issue whether or not some like what I wear, how I look. The main reason behind me doing these posts is to show that you can put an effort and look decent with hijab -no matter what your size-! Receiving comments and personal messages that I have been an inspiration to them via these posts is means the world to me.

Anyhow, let's get to the point! I have also been receiving messages where people who know me personally have started to notice changes in my body. Some have mentioned this via the comments board, and I had a very very sweet sister who tried to defend me (however the comment was not offensive, it was actually a compliment cos I know who wrote it lol). I have people say "you don't need to lose weight or be a certain weight to be accepted".

Believe you me, I am doing nothing to be accepted by anyone. Whatever I do, I try to do first for Allah, then myself. This blog does not advocate being overweight. I have never been at peace with my love handles. :) I am not happy with my body, but alhamdulillah, I am happy with what Allah has given me. Other than my weight, alhamdulillah I am healthy so far... I always have health checks done, and so far so good mashaallah. However, genetically I have a very high risk of diebetes. I am the only one in my family not to have it yet... but if I ever decide (if Allah wills for me) to conceive a child, 99% I will have it. This is only one of the main reasons I want to get down to a healthy weight.

So... As some may have noticed, yes, I have been losing weight. Alhamdulillah. It is a slow but steady journey... and alhamdulillah a journey that I have no regrets about... well, yes, I just regret starting so late. The purpose behind this post is to provide some info and maybe some inspiration/motivation to those who may be interested. Please continue to read if interested. :)

I, like many others who have had weight troubles have been dieting all my life. I was a chubby baby and continued to have a chubby childhood. I look back at some infantile photos and sadly notice that I was never as big as I was made to think. My family thought they were doing the right thing by telling me I am huge. My eating habits were always an issue. I never ate too much, but I always ate the wrong amount of wrong things at the wrong times. My eating disorder stuck by me all my life. Changing one's eating habits is seriously like changing one's life style. It isn't easy.

To cut a very long story short, after researching (on and off) for over 5 years, I decided to go ahead with the lap-band surgery. Most of you would have heard of this procedure as it has been quite popular in the last few years.

I did a lot of reading on the matter, researched online forums, read people's experiences and looked around for a surgeon. I first decided that I wanted to have my surgery done by one of the doctors at The Centre for Bariatric Surgery. It was founded by Professor O'Brien who was the first doctor to implement the surgery in Australia.

They are very professional. Before you can get an appointment you need to call and book yourself for a free info seminar that is held once or twice a month. On the night you receive a book about lap-band surgery, also written by Professor O'Brien. If you are still interested after the seminar, you then call the centre to make an appointment for your first consultation. However, you must read the book before your appointment.

Okay, so I did all that. However, I couldn't affort to pay outright for the surgery. Therefore I needed to get health cover for 12 months, and at the end of the 12 months I would be eligible to undergo the surgery at a fraction of the full fee. I paid $3500 AUD (I've been told the centre has upped its price to $4000 AUD this year) for the surgery plus my health cover for 12 months. So all up it cost me approx. $5500 AUD instead of the full fee which is between $15,000-$20,000 AUD.

Beware and do your research well if you are looking into this, because different surgeons charge different fees for the same procedure. Some people go on a waiting list to have the procedure done publicly, but they usually wait anywhere between 2-5 years. My sis waited 6 years. Oh, and after the surgery, all follow-up appointments (once every 2-4 weeks) will cost you anywhere between $60-$200 AUD every time you go. However, I pay nothing more since I went through private health insurance.

I was banded (had the surgery) on the 22nd of January 2010 (exactly 13 months after the seminar). So it has just been 8 months. I didn't lose much in the first few months, but I continued to see my doctor every fortnight. This is what has the most impact -- you must keep in regular contact with your doctor!!! If you stop seeing them even though it seems like the surgery isn't helping you, you will lose all motivation, feel like a failure, and you wont achieve the expected results.

It has been 8 months, yes, but I still have a long way to go. I have not yet reached my goal, because I have a lot to lose, but I have since lost over 30 kg plus 5 kg lost pre-op. So in total I have lost a little over 35 kg. It has made a difference. It may not be a huge difference when you look at the photos, but it feels different. My dress size has dropped from 26-28 Australian sizes to 18-20 Australian sizes.

Having said all that, the lap-band surgery is not for everyone. According to research, it works for most, but there are some people it just doesn't agree with. I am very thankful that I have gone ahead with the surgery, and I know that if I stick to the rules I will continue to lose the weight. The best thing about the band is that you control/decide when you want to stop losing the weight. It is adjustable and has no side-effects for/during pregnancy.

Oh, and for those who may think that the lap-band is the cheat's/easy way out, you better stop and think again. It is a challenge! It is tough! Your mind has to be ready for it before anything else. You need to be ready to discipline yourself/your eating habits. Your life style will undergo some changes. The lap-band is just like a personal cook-trainer who tells you when you need to stop eating and it will definitely stop you from eating certain foods which you shouldn't. So it really isn't a piece of cake, but the results... the results are what keep you going.

Lastly: It wont happen overnight, but it will happen :)

If you have any queries regarding the procedure, you can email me at edbdesigns@gmail.com


Me in Grade 5, 1988 if I remember correctly. I'm in the 2nd row from bottom, and Im the 2nd one from right wearing the horrific blue 2-piece dress lol

Me in Grade 6, 1989. I was in the school volleyball team. I was definitely good enough to play in the A-team, but I was always put in the B-team because of my weight. No, I'm not paranoid, I was told so! I am the one in the 2nd row from bottom, 1st one on the right.


Age 1, 1979. I was told that I was always a very fat baby and child. I think I look cute rather than gigantic :) Okay I know I was chubby, I'm not in denial lol


This photo was taken in December 2008, when I reached my peak weight. This is the biggest I have ever been and I can't believe I posed with an ice-cream cone! Gasp! I usually destroy such photos, but I had been keeping some like this since 2008. I knew I had to do something about my weight, so I wanted to keep such photos to look back and see the difference.


This one was taken on a short business trip to Istanbul, Turkey in November 2009. Almost 1 year since then...


December 2009 at a friend's wedding...


22 January 2010, with mummy dearest... just a few hours after the surgery. Don't mind the stars around my wrists lol


Taken in June 2010 from my recent Turkey trip. 4-5 month after surgery and approx. 18 kg lighter.



Now, just a comparison of before and a little bit after...

As you know, the photo on the right is from last week, so it is very recent. 8 months after surgery and over 30 kg lighter than the photo on the left. My husband (he is sometimes a d**k) says he can't see any difference between the 2 photos (although I must admit he has never said anything about my weight and that he has always held my hand proudly in public... and I also know he likes some meat on his woman lol). It might not be as obvious to the eye, but I can now comfortably go to many stores and purchase off the rack... even in Turkey!


As I mentioned before... I still have a very long way to go, but the steady weight-loss is keeping me motivated alhamdulillah.

Thank you for your time and apologies for any boredom! :))

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