Best Friends

My best friends now are my family, my camera, clothes, hijab, and blog. 

Before I wore hijab, I have uncounted friends. my phone always rang so often, my bbm was so busy, and I never stayed too long at my place because of work and too busy have fun with friends. Clubbing, cafe', hedonism at mall, etc etc. I never tought about sin, I never think  about God, I eat pig, drank liquor and sedative. Everyone think My life was seems so fun and colorful. I was like a flowing person who had no problem. but nope. I feel empty inside. I cried of the things that I did't know about what. I laugh a lot but the heart keep told me that It was not funny at all. "don't pretended that you are happy, iya. Don't!" my heart always said so. 

This year was amazing year for me. After I broke up with my 7-years boyfriends, Allah gave me a clue. Every time I cried I always think about Him. Why my life was became like this? what exactly He wanted me to be? I'm so frustrated. I spent a week just to cry and think about my life, and what Allah wanted from me. Then I clicked the internet to amuse myself, and accidentally read about illuminati thingy and the signs of the end of the day.

Really? the end of the day is soooo near? i never think about that before. 

Because I was extremely curious, then I opened the Qur'an, chapter by chapter, then again I cried a lot. but this time I cried not because I was too frustrated about my future, but because I realize about myself that I didn't think about it before. I was a girl FULL of sins and Hell is heading me. I don't want to go hell.  Who wanted to?

Then, I learned Qur'an and hadist, then slowly improving my life became much better. I stopped drank liquor (and honestly that was hard because my friends always forced me). I told them some fake reason that will make them understand, but the un-avoided fact is... they just never want to understand. And that's why I started to think about something that could protect me from my 'bad' friends who always forced me to do a bunch of bad things. 

Hijab was my answer.

After I wore hijab, I refuse to take a job that requires me to took off my hijab. some of my friends was laughing at me and said "are you became a terrorist or something?" gezzz... what a NICE words came out from a mouth friends who always said "I care about you" every time I cried about the silly things. And few friend asked me "are you been inspired by someone else style so you decide to wear hijab?" or "don't throw all your hot pants and mini dress cuz I know you will open up your hijab someday,"

I wore hijab for the sake of Allah. I wore hijab because I seek a refuge and forgiveness from Allah. I wore hijab because I was afraid If I die tomorrow, which life I would enter? hell or heaven? cuz for me, that options is the reason why Allah sent us to earth. To CHOOSE. 

And now, here is me. the truly I am. Although my friends had left me one by one, but I thank to Allah because of that. He kept me away from all the things that could give me such a bad influences. Allah is always with me, my family is still here with me, I can still have fun with my camera, my clothes, hijab, and blog that became one of my close friends recently, and of course to all my lovely followers and others who visited here.  I wore hijab since April and still have a lot to learn about how to wear it properly.

thanks to Ʋƨɐɠɪ ❤ who inspired me to write down and share this story. 

salam~