Emotional breakdown

I'm now officially having an emotional breakdown..

Its not about my exam, nor my boyfriend

but its about something that constantly spinning in my head..

something that really dishearten me..

i know..life has not been good to me lately..

sometimes i feel regret for knowing someone deeper..

i tried to endure life without thinking too much

i tried to be positive..

i tried to be wise..

but the pain i shouldered right now..

is becoming more and more throbbing..

and i dont know..when will it stops..

and neither i know..when will i recover..

but one thing i know

the healing process will leave me a deep scar..

a very deep scar..

please do not judge me if you don't know me well.. i never stumble upon your life and i never came across to meddle someone's relationship. i am not perfect but at least i have my own pride and dignity. i know my own barrier. But what frustrates me the most is when my own idol pleaded me to stop writing about him because 'these people' convinced him that i might intimidate his relationship with his girlfriend. congratulations. you have successfully made me feel like im such a cheap loser with no pride at all.

dearest readers, starting from this day on, i will not write anything about zaquan adha again because i know these people are watching every steps that i take. truth to be told, im afraid..afraid that this nightmare will haunt me forever. so minta maaf to all related person and with that saya mengundur diri from this game.